weapons of massdistraction

Growing up Catholic I was taught that today is All Saints’ Day. As an agnostic adult I vastly prefer the Day of the Dead angle. But as I get older I have more and more dead to remember.
My brother Tom.
My stillborn son Felix.
All of my grandparents and great uncles.
High school friends Jennifer, Chris, Josh and [...]

The last week or so I’ve had a recurring dream…of the house I grew up in. The upstairs, in particular, where my brother’s room was. Until his senior year, that is, when he went away to die horribly in the hospital. He was still seventeen when diagnosed with leukemia and eighteen when it killed him. [...]

It’s become increasingly difficult to remain on good terms with my ex/former best friend. That makes me sad. For the little man as much as for myself. This is only worsening my current low energy-high anxiety combo. Which in turn makes getting things done nearly impossible. Yet the To Do list is never ending. I [...]

What a week, chock full of longing and loss and general unpleasantness. A good friend’s cat is dying. I’ve got a fever and bacterial sinus infection. And somehow a strange sort of milestone snuck up on me. Eighteen months. Eighteen months since Felix died and was removed from my body via c-section. Not long afterwards [...]

What a day. Beautiful yes, but also draining. The little man and I started things off with blueberry pancakes, followed by a walk to the coffee shop and then on to the playground. And that was all grand but then we moved on to the tough stuff. The memorial service for Felix. There was something [...]