weapons of massdistraction

For the record, though they are both products made of soy, Genisoy Soy Crisps and Silk Mocha are two great tastes that DO NOT go great together. I’m feeling a wee bit ill at the moment. Go figure.

Today a co-worker asked me about vegan tuna salad, as I am the resident expert on all things vegan, and I told him about Tuno (which I still haven’t tried). I found there is currently a shortage of this product, but am unsure whether it is high demand or incredible disdain that has done it in. A bit of googling would suggest the latter.

Also on the topic of food, the husband happens to be a junk food vegan. His diet consists mainly of starch, starch and more starch. He feebly attempts to argue that potatoes are a vegetable and therefore nutritious. Recently we went out to lunch, at Everest, where he ate pakora – mostly batter-fried potatoes – and bread and white rice. For dinner that night I busted him eating waffle fries at his desk, and nothing else. Oh, I guess there was ketchup too (but no, that doesn’t count as a vegetable). Exasperated, I threw my hands up and said “I’m going to outlive you by 40 years!” With a goofy grin on his face he asked “is that a promise or a threat?

Yesterday I received an email from the lovely Zophia. In it she casually mentioned “we are gassing each other with nitrous tomorrow. That should be interesting.” No, she wasn’t referring to recreational nitrous use. Rather it was state-sanctioned giggling…in her dental hygiene program. After class she reported back. Apparently she’s quite the lightweight, but I’m sure I would be too.

Mythlandia is amazing (via Drawn). Find the Kraken!

Also lovely, Lions, Tigers, Bears, Etc., Frightened Friends and Fearsome Foes:

A sunny fall morning in 2001 reintroduced us, as a country, to our old friend, Fear. Since then, we have been constantly reminded that if you’re not with us then you’re against us, that secrets and walls and wiretaps fight the terrorists, and that death may be waiting around every corner.

This July, over 30 artists will face their fears, from movie monsters to bedroom boogeymen and beyond, in Wootini’s Lions, Tigers, Bears, Etc., a curatorial debut for artist David Huyck. Artists such as Colin Christian, Chris Ryniak, and The Little Friends of Printmaking will join Wootini friends Andrew Bell, Bwana Spoons, David K. Rose, Jermaine Rogers, and others, in this exploration of our various emotional tormentors. Oh, my!

I would gladly trek to North Carolina to check that out. Unfortunately James is no longer residing in the Tar Heel state (which would have made such a visit even more worthwhile). Hopefully he will settle into his new digs, and schedule, soon enough.

Bonus: Still need to see A Scanner Darkly, but I’ve just discovered another animated feature for adults: Renaissance. Intriguing. Not quite so compelling, however, is the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles teaser (they look more like frogs). I’m sure we’ll be seeing it anyhow. Sigh.
Plus: Doh, meant to post about this sooner. Savage Aural Hotbed is playing tonight, just across the bridge from us, at the Minnesota Museum of American Art. I haven’t seen that band perform in ages, and I adore the museum’s patio nights series. Seriously, it is one of the best places in town for an outdoor show. But I changed into my pajamas when I walked in the door and won’t be getting out of them again until morning.

This heatwave has left me feeling uninspired and defeated. I didn’t make it to see Low last night. They were playing at midnight, and I was in bed around 8pm. I’d intended to just have a little lie down, then head downtown around 11pm. But we all know how that goes. At least the first half of the day was productive. I was up early taking care of the mundane details, like laundry and dishes, prior to our playdate with the wonderful Rena and her lovely children (my lad got on quite well with Little C, I thought - we’ll have to do it again some time). Then we headed to the little man’s swimming lesson. He has been making progress lately and is getting much, much closer to actual swimming. Afterwards I asked him where he wanted to go. His reply? California. Yeah, the Bay Area is sounding pretty good right about now, but that’s too bad kid…we’re broke, and first grade starts on Monday. We settled for lunch at Pizza Luce instead.

And now I have to figure out how we’re going to endure the remainder of the weekend. For once we have no plans. A leisurely weekend spent puttering about the house would sound appealing…if it weren’t for the heat advisory combined with our lack of central air. We do have two sad little window units, but the thought of spending all weekend in a) the computer room and/or b) our bedroom is dispiriting. And anywhere I can think to take our little family (various museums, indoor playgrounds, etc.) is likely to be overrun with other families also seeking to escape the heat. Even so, I think we might venture to Minneapolis to return books to the Central Library, and visit the Midtown Global Market. Also intriguing, the Mill City Museum’s new Farmer’s Market - “a new produce market focused on local, seasonal, sustainable and organic foods” - but that’s outdoors, in the blazing heat. Yes, I am a wuss and I will likely save that for a milder Saturday morning.

If only there were some movies out we could all enjoy. A Scanner Darkly may be animated, but it’s not for the little man and Wordplay would likely bore him to tears. I’d consider a last minute attempt to enlist our babysitter, but would hate to subject her to the current stuffy stinkiness of our home. But enough stalling. Before we make any kind of escape, I should probably shower…

Opposable thumbs have helped advance humankind, but we take them for granted. Or at least I did. Until yesterday. Genius that I am, I somehow pressed my right thumb against a rack in the oven, when I was attempting to reposition a cherry pie. In an oven that had been fired up at 425 degrees for over 40 minutes. Can you say ouch? Naturally I am right-handed, so I was useless for the remainder of the evening. I needed the husband’s help with finishing up in the kitchen while I sat nearby, soaking my hand in cold water. After a spell I gently towelled off my sad thumb (fully half of the pad had turned into one giant blister), and the husband wrapped it in sterile gauze before sending me off to bed. It ached and throbbed for a bit, but I managed to get to sleep. This morning it was much improved, but not enough that I could fully function with ease. Making coffee with the French press was challenging. I was nearly foiled by the clasp of a necklace. And the hook and eye closure of my bra had me on the brink of tears. To prevent similar situations in the future there is but one solution. I can’t cure my clumsiness so instead we must obtain silicone oven mitts. Maybe even a silicone body suit, you know, just in case.

Bonus: On Friday Low performs at midnight (so, technically that’s Saturday I guess), as part of Macy’s Day of Music. But hey, Alan and Mimi have small children too…couldn’t they play one of the earlier slots? I’ll quit my whining. I made it out to see them the last time they played this event, also at midnight in Orchestra Hall, back when the little man was much littler. It was well worth the sleep deprivation.
Plus: People I care about are having interesting experiences this week. The baby boy that mopsa and her LP are adopting was born yesterday (a little ahead of schedule but a-ok). Congratulations! And our intrepid citizen journalist, Chuck Olsen, is out globetrotting in Korea during monsoon season. Not only has he gotten soaked, he’s also run into scary mobs of riot police, out in force because of the anti-FTA protests.
And: Word of the day: sussed. I recently overheard a co-worker work it into conversation and it made me smile.

Feeling stressed, on multiple fronts, and badly in need of a vacation. A real one. Where I actually flee, and, get to, you know, leave town for a while. It doesn’t have to mean leaving on a jet plane. A road trip would suffice. But it’s not in the cards just yet. And this morning I need to focus. We’re meeting with the little man’s psychologist. To go over the results of his most recent evaluation, to find out what more we can do to help him now, and to learn more about what his prognosis is looking like.

Speaking of the little man…he just woke up, walked into my room and handed me a tooth (one of his front teeth had been hanging by a thread for days). This was better than the last time he lost a tooth, when it truly was lost, having disappeared some time in the night.

Bonus: I didn’t watch Rocketboom daily, but I checked in now and again. It will be interesting to see what transpires after Amanda’s departure…
Plus: June was not a good month for elderly, ailing cats. We lost Jasmine at the beginning of June, while the Smartypants household lost their cat towards the end of it. Good night, sweet furry fatso.
And: On a happier tip, Neil Gaiman’s reports from the set of Stardust are, first and foremost, a relief. Beyond that they’re actually getting me excited about the film (the book is one of my favorites).