weapons of massdistraction

Another utterly draining week is coming to a close. Particularly with this news cycle, with caged children and a FLOTUS touring the detention facilities wearing a jacket with the words “I really don’t care do u?” on the back. But also on a personal level. Change is hard. Especially sudden change, and for someone with autism. Yesterday I made the tough decision to move my son and I out of our home of 4+ years. But there’s mold in the bones of this place and it’s aggravating my asthma. I’ve been too patient with the Property Management Company. It took them one full month to pull up wet carpet from my bedroom floor. A housing inspector came by yesterday and scolded me for not contacting the city sooner. I had recently renewed our lease for another two years but the landlord is letting me out of it without a penalty. They should be doing a whole lot more than that, all things considered. I’m heartsick as my son and I really loved this place. It was the perfect amount of space for the two of us, with all the bells and whistles. But we will be renting from friends instead. Landlords who will live just next door and are decent human beings instead of heartless, greedy bastards. It’s all happening so suddenly and we have so much work to do to prepare for it. Not much time for daydreaming or dilly dallying this summer. Taking a brief break from all the stress to celebrate my birthday at Pizza Farm next week. And I just realized that I’ve got a booth at the Strange Girls Summer Night Market the day we’re planning to move. Somehow I will make this work. And then I will thoroughly appreciate my vacation in October.

Five Good Things for Friday:

• This woman. Wow. New hero.
  

  Most political ads don’t knock your socks off, but this one? Buckle up, buttercup. Meet MJ Hegar, she’s running for Congress in Texas District 31 and she’s just dropped a masterpiece of an introductory ad. This ad is gonna “take off” just like her career as an Air Force pilot. Hit the play button and see why MJ Hegar stands out from the crowd.

• Billboard on 880 in Emeryville altered to read, ‘We make kids disappear. - I.C.E.‘
• Best news I’ve heard all week: Edgar Wright’s Next Film Is a Documentary on Cult Pop-Rock Band Sparks
• Just discovered fatcatart. Much wow. See for yourself.
• Yesterday was the Solstice. I was so preoccupied with looking at apartments I nearly missed it. At the office we marked the occasion by receiving the first shipment of fresh produce from our Community Supported Agriculture program, through Open Arms. In areas with shorter growing seasons like ours every little bit must be celebrated.

What ICE is doing - tearing families apart at our borders - is unconscionable and horrific. This is America but it doesn’t have to be. On this Father’s day our local Minnesota Immigrant Rights Action Committee (MIRAC) organized a protest. I hope it was well attended. I wanted to join them but my doctor cautioned me against it. Yesterday I wound up at Urgent Care, again. My breathing problems haven’t improved. An x-ray showed my lungs are at low capacity. A nebulizer treatment may have helped but really it’s another burst of prednisone again that seems to be reducing inflammation. That and Atarax, a prescription antihistamine I had never heard of. I don’t even want to read the list of side effects. I’m finally being referred to a pulmonary specialist but I have no time to go see them, the way work has been going. Obviously I’ll have to make time. And, once again, I’m very grateful for the high quality health insurance plan provided by my employer. Maybe we’ll figure this thing out one of these days.

Also disappointing? Chris Hardwick. I had been a long-time fan. Watched his show @midnight, listened to his podcast, followed him on social media. No more. He seemed to be a fellow nerd who grew up at the wrong time, in the 70s, who was picked on for his interests. And as an adult he’s been in therapy to work out his shit and always advised his followers to “be nice to each other, goddammit.” I can relate to these things. But I believe his ex, Chloe Dykstra. Her allegations are awful yet unsurprising. This, not too long after Joss Whedon. Nerdy men who have created things I’ve enjoyed, who seemed like they would be allies, but surprise! Worlds of nope. And yes, women can be shitty and abusive and manipulative in relationships. Everyone can be. But the power dynamics have to be acknowledged. In the case of Chris Hardwick he was 17 years senior to his ex-girlfriend and in a more successful point of his career. When their relationship ended he had the influence to get his buddies to blacklist her all around LA so she couldn’t get work. Likewise Whedon preyed on young actresses whose employment depended on him. With the #metoo movement these types of situations finally have repercussions but this shit should never happen to begin with.

Let’s take a 180 for Five Good Things:

• This is incredibly cool and I adore Berlin: “raubdruckerin” is an art collective turning manhole covers, grids and street tiles into printing presses that capture the unique footprints of European cities. I’d wear that.
• A friend joined me for an impromptu screening of Ocean’s 8 and wow, representation makes a huge difference. I’m all for more women on the big screen. The Bechdel Test is such a low bar yet so many movies still don’t pass it these days. It’s inexcusable. Recently on twitter I suggested that imdb and rotten tomatoes should include a brief line of text with an inclusivity rating for a movie, right along with its runtime, filming locations, etc. I don’t want to bother watching movies that render women, people of color, or LGBTQ+ people practically invisible. Those movies have all been made already. It’s time for the film industry to reflect real world demographics.
• We Strange Girls are hosting a Summer Night Market at Modist Brewing. I had a rough day in my booth at Art-A-Whirl last month, which I wrote about. But the weather was working against us. And I hadn’t printed any new, smaller pieces to sell. Next month we’ll be indoors in air conditioning and I’ve already made photo magnets (how do they fucking work?) and photo gift cards that turned out really well. I have a good feeling about this.
• Tuesday night I’m seeing Denmark’s Iceage for the third time. I’ve really been enjoying their new album, Beyondless. And they’re always fun live.
• Queer Eye season 2 is on Netflix! And I may have binge watched it all too quickly. I did so much crying. “There are more tears and hugs and social commentary in the Queer Eye season two opener than there were in the entire first season.” For real.

This week I’ve been taking Prednisone. For the first time in years. It helps me breathe when my asthma is rough, which I appreciate. But I’m not a fan of its side effects. For me it’s restlessness, moodiness and hunger. It can be far worse for others with possible side effects ranging from “inappropriate happiness” and bulging eyes to bruising, vomiting and more. Only five days of it (just took the last dose) but I’m ready to have this out of my system. And it’s been a particularly emotional week for me, for so many reasons. Life stuff like ongoing feuding with my landlord. But mainly? Because my amazing son graduated from high school last night. Many proud mom moments.

That brings me back to emotions and mental health. I’m a big fan of empathy and kindness. We can’t imagine what others around us are going through. The kind of physical pain or mental anguish they may be carrying with them. I believe everyone should see a therapist, if they are able to. Anthony Bourdain is on my mind this morning. Growing up my family never traveled beyond the tri-state area. I didn’t board an airplane until I was 17. But I read constantly - books and glossy travel magazines - and dreamed of being anywhere other than where I was. As an adult I’ve been able to travel a bit. Not as much as I would like but more than many. And I’ve shared my passion for travel with my son. I’ve emphasized the importance of life experiences over buying/having stuff. As a longtime vegan I overlooked Bourdain’s mocking of my tribe and enjoyed watching his episodes featuring destinations I am likely to visit as well as ones I probably won’t get to. Often I found him endearing.

“An octogenarian columnist who’d written a review about a new Olive Garden in her small city was ripped to shreds by pretentious assholes in the food blogging community and beyond.

Anthony Bourdain flew her to New York for a meal at Per Se. Then he wrote the forward to her book.”

Amazing. I missed his Montreal episode before my first trip there but enjoyed watching it prior to my second visit. We had wildly different experiences in Paris and Berlin and Croatia and Copenhagen but it was fun to compare notes, and pick up the flavor of a place from his take on it. He had incredible experiences in Lebanon, the country my family migrated from that I have yet to visit. I’ve had dreams about Bourdain and my Dad once smoked cigarettes with him outside of a book tour event. In the Fall I’ll be thinking of Bourdain and his no bullshit attitude to travel and life as I travel around Dublin, Rome and the Italian countryside on my own.

But today I woke up to the news that Bourdain took his own life. A perfect example of someone who appeared to have everything they could ever hope for or dream of, but he was still battling his own demons. Mental health is just as important as physical health but our society doesn’t value it in the same way. And suicide rates are climbing in the United States.

From Dissonance:

This week has been hard with prominent suicides. If you are suffering, reach out. Call 1-800-273-8255 or text MN to 741741.

It took me years to finally start seeing a therapist. Before that I dealt with my own mental health issues (the tag team duo of trauma and grief) through escapism. Mainly science fiction and fantasy books, films and shows. And this is how I still cope, to a degree. The rise of nerd culture means I have too many amazing options everywhere that feel like they were tailor-made just for me. Last Sunday morning I took myself to see Upgrade (with MoviePass) before running errands. I’ve never been a fan of reality TV and generally prefer fiction to non, but I’m working on it. There are more non-fiction works I am a HUGE fan of these days across mediums, especially related to social justice and self-improvement.

Five good things:

• Queer Eye season 2! In one week! So excited.
• This documentary is at the top of my queue, because it is Pride month, and because I’ve been wanting to see it: The Death and Life of Marsha P. Johnson
• Pose isn’t non-fiction, but it’s a fictionalized take on NYC’s very real Ball culture and house system scene in NYC and I adored the pilot episode. It reminded me of the 80s when I would devour Interview magazine cover to cover and wish I lived in NYC.
• I’ve read all of Matt Haig’s fiction, but I have yet to tackle his memoir about depression called Reasons to Stay Alive. It’s time to bump that up to the top of the list.
• And this, for some levity: “you haven’t experienced life until you’ve seen Muppet outtakes“

What a weird holiday weekend. We managed to blend plenty of productivity with loads of downtime, which was solid. But there were plenty of frustrations as well. Between the mold problems in our home, excessive heat and air pollution warnings plus high pollen alerts my lungs are burning. I feel like I’ve been huffing paint thinner or nail polish remover. It hurts. Yesterday we took my Dad to see the Solo movie, which we all enjoyed, but we did not enjoy emerging to 100 degree heat which quickly developed into an End of Times looking storm.

On a more tragic note, Sunday night a fire completely destroyed the Roberts Shoes building, displacing dozens of artists who had studios and homes there. Just awful. A displacement fund has been set up. Contribute if you can. That’s been on my mind a lot. Especially after seeing a lot of friends and acquaintances posting their remembrances of the space.

After that downer it’s hard to stay positive. But I’m back at work today and my son is back at school (with just three days of high school left). So let’s roll with it, with Five Good Things:

• The news coverage around the Solo movie has been oddly negative. My dad, son and I enjoyed it (especially Donald Glover as Lando). And I’ll agree that Phoebe Waller-Bridge’s L3-37 is one of the best Star Wars characters ever.
• This is from the end of 2017 but still relevant, and a great read: The Women Who Run the “Star Wars” Universe
• Somehow I forgot Mary Ocher was playing the Entry last night. I’m sad I missed it but I was so wiped out from yesterday’s weird heat I turned in early anyhow. Woke up to photos of her show in my social media feeds. At least it served as a reminder to listen to her The West Against The People album while working today.
• I stumbled on an older episode of The Kitchen Sisters podcast I hadn’t heard before. It’s a fun one. Prince and the Technician: “In 1983 Prince hired LA sound technician, Susan Rogers, one of the few women in the industry, to move to Minneapolis and help upgrade his home recording studio as he began work on the album and the movie Purple Rain.”
• It’s nearly June, which is usually one of my favorite months of the year. This one will be particularly eventful. I’ll be photographing a wedding, my son will be graduating from high school, my Dad and I will celebrate another one of our shared birthdays and it’s time for me to organize another Pizza Farm adventure. Soon.