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Rapid Uncontrolled Decline

The husband and I are getting ready to go away together for the weekend, alone, for the first time since 2002. Naturally we would have to receive some seriously shitty news yesterday, as a sending away gift of sorts. It’s one more lousy thing to add to my slagheap of problems to obsess over. I don’t even feel like leaving now, but the little man is looking forward to some time with his grandma. And the husband, well, I think he’s less excited about our trip now…especially as he’s just learned that, at a bed and breakfast, the morning meal is generally had at a table shared with the other guests. Not good news for the terminally shy (I thought he knew, honestly I did). And he knows what a wreck I am. I spent last night freaking out for so long I didn’t get to bed until 4am. Initially I’d been thinking that this year, thus far, had been something of a rollercoaster ride. I was wrong. There have been no ups. Just downs. There’s been no bottoming out, no getting a break, no catching your breath…just pure freefall.

twisty tree

So That The Whole World Can Tune In To My Disbelief

Today I am awash in conflicting emotions…

DESPAIR
My own carelessness has caused the death of an innocent USB cable…and now my most recent photographs are trapped on my camera FOREVER! Okay, they’re stuck on my SmartMedia card really, and only until I head to GNS for a replacement cable. But, but, but…I’m feeling lazy. No more fresh flickr-ing for me until tomorrow. Until then I’ll have to settle for being cheeky.

PREOCCUPATION
Rather than mailing in his open enrollment application, this morning I drove it over to the public charter school I mentioned recently. I have high hopes for this school, and I’m guessing they’ll be higher still after I go back next week for an information session and tour. But we won’t find out until some time in April whether or not the little man will be accepted. If there are more applicants than positions they have a lottery system to determine who will get lucky. And this little family has notoriously bad luck, and not much of a backup plan. So how nerve-wracking is that? Oy.

DISCOMPOSURE
Chuck brings up an interesting idea. I find it to be simultaneously intriguing and appalling. I’ll have to ponder this some more.

CONCERN
What is up with the little man’s cough? I quarantined him most of the weekend, not wanting him to spread his germs and hoping he’d recover. Which he did (recover, I mean), somewhat. But after the morning spent at school he now seems to be more ill than before. I wish he had the words to tell me how he’s really feeling. But at age five the routine with him isn’t much different than it’s ever been. Worry. Whip out the thermometer. Wait.

DISCOMBOBULATION
Now I totally feel like crap, like I’m coming down with something. Maybe I shouldn’t have listened to Midday today, with their guest Michael Osterholm (director of the University of Minnesota’s Center for Infectious Disease Research and Policy).

ANTICIPATION
I am eagerly awaiting Friday for a few reasons. First, the weekend will be upon us, which means it’ll be time for the husband and I to run away to Madison together for a couple of days. And secondly, I am wondering just what the heck Mr. Barrett Chase is about to unleash. I’ll be staying tuned. Or something.

ELATION
My package just arrived from microindie records. More on that later.

Bonus: When I was enduring the insomnia last night I whiled away some time over at Vimeo (sort of like a flickr for video). I could totally get hooked on that. In fact, I was thinking of posting some clips over there (when they are out of closed beta mode) as my digital SLR captures 30-second quicktime movies, but the compression is crappy and I don’t have any video editing software - suggestions anyone?

smiling in the snow

Adventure Is Discomfort In Retrospect

I didn’t set foot on an airplane until I was sixteen years old. Sad but true. The little man, now five, has not yet flown. But his paternal grandmother is kicking around an idea…of having us tag along on one of her business trips next month. To NYC. So not only would it herald the little man’s first time flying, it would be my first time in NYC…in mommy-mode. I would be tempted to tether the lad to me, for safekeeping. But we could go visit a friend of mine who works at the American Museum of Natural History. And we’d be staying in midtown, where there are, thankfully, a number of playgrounds and vegan-friendly restaurants within easy travel range.

In other comings and goings…Little Dave left for London last night. Big Dave comes back from Seattle some time this week. And Miss Delia Jane is currently in town from Chicago.

/Begin whining/
Arrgghh, I woke up so sore this morning, with my entire body aching from the shovelling I had to do yesterday (it was the wet, heavy kind of snow). And we seem to have run out of ibuprofen and coffee. Not a great way to start the day, especially when the little man doesn’t have school (stupid dead presidents) and will be looking to me for entertainment.
/End Whining/
Plus: Did any other bloggers receive an odd offer from Rescue Magazine? Lemme know if you did.

airplane miniature

The Term Is ‘party Catalyst’

This morning we attended a child’s birthday party at the Science Museum of Minnesota. It was a fabulous idea, but such things are only becoming more difficult for my little man. First off, the only child he knew was the birthday girl herself (the other nine or so kids were classmates of hers) so he was a bit shy and hid in the corner for a while. When he did attempt to interact with the other kids he did so inappropriately, by alternately poking and/or grabbing them, or rolling around on the floor for attention. He can’t help it. This is a feature of his autism spectrum disorder. Seeing him in action with his peers today only reinforced my gut instinct. That what the St. Paul School District is offering us for next schoolyear just isn’t enough. The little man is too high functioning for their autism rooms (intended for the kids who are more severely impaired) but I don’t think he is ready for a typical classroom, with 20+ kids, only one teacher, and no dedicated aide. Yet this is the only choice we’ve been given. If any middle ground option exists, I sure haven’t been able to ferret it out. This has been weighing so heavily on my mind…I’ve spent the last couple of weeks agonizing over it. Worrying that, if forced into one of these classrooms, my child would be seen as a problem. He would be disruptive and pulled out of class constantly. He wouldn’t be learning anything. Well, nothing of value. Thankfully I’ve found a public charter school that is far better equipped to meet his needs. The drawback, it’s twelve miles away, doesn’t provide transportation and I will have to chauffeur him back and forth every day. But it would be entirely worth it. If we manage to secure a spot. Now we’ll just have to continue trying not to obsess over job prospects (for both the husband and myself). Things will sort themselves out shortly, no doubt, but until they do all this uncertainty is excruciating.
Bonus: A clip of The Arcade Fire performing on the kids show Pancake Mountain (via More Cowbell). Speaking of kids shows…I haven’t yet weighed in on the ridiculous (yet ominous) Buster the Bunny controversy, but I’m sure yawl can guess my opinion. It’s expressed nicely here and here.
Plus: More pix on flickr.

I Thought It Was More Literary Than Cinematic

Last night my NPR nerd quotient skyrocketed. I unexpectedly found myself on the guest list (thanks Jessica!) for MPR’s new series, Literary Friendships…and with a neighbor willing to watch my child while I stepped out for it. It was especially thrilling as the show featured one of my favorite authors, Michael Chabon, and his partner in crime/wife/colleague Ayelet Waldman (interviewed by the illustrious Garrison Keillor). They were amazingly entertaining and I couldn’t help but be a bit envious. Two writers, still completely in love after over a decade, living and writing in Berkeley while raising four small children together, with the aid of a nanny and annual retreats to various writer’s colonies. Now that’s the good life. The program will air on NPR some time in the summer.

Literary Friendships

J.t. Ripper Takes On J.m. Thumper

The husband just made me laugh so hard I spewed chocolate soymilk on to my pants, the floor, my keyboard, and my chin (miraculously missing my shirt). And I continued laughing so hard that I hurt my back and had to wipe the tears from my eyes before cleaning up. Damn, I needed that.

The King Kong Of Oral Obsessives

All right, I just need to settle down, narrow my focus and take on one thing at a time. Starting…right…now. This morning I made an appointment for the little man, with a pediatric dental specialist. I’m not looking forward to it. The kid despises brushing his teeth, and so I doubt he’ll take kindly to a stranger poking around inside his mouth. So really I’m sort of dreading this, but I’ll be relieved when it’s over. Next up, resume tweaking for a job prospect that would potentially be a good fit. I’m trying not to think of anything beyond that. But so often the multi-tasking mania grips me and refuses to let go. Stoopid brain needs to slow down.

On the brighter side, there’s finally a more illuminating trailer for The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (currently available only through Amazon, oddly enough). There’s some discussion regarding this on Slashdot, natch. I like the following comments from one poster:

Adams himself wrote the screenplay. He was famous for saying that he didn’t want any of the incarnations of the story to ever be the same (hence why the book is different than the radio drama, etc. and so on).

Everything in the movie has Adams’ sanction, which means it may be a bit hoopy, and certainly froody, but damn good. I’d like to sass it right now.

I’m certainly looking forward to it, as are others about town. I think this special occasion calls for an Upper Midwest Blog Managers Association group outing.
Bonus: As a long-time fan of Fawlty Towers, this news story brought a smile to my face.
Plus: At long last, ‘McLibel’ Campaigners Win Legal Aid Battle. My, we’re just full up on Brits around here today.

When Did I Sign Up To Be The Ranking Adult?

Lately each day has brought us a spate of fresh problems, or complications to pre-existing ones. I can expend only so much energy dealing with this stuff…before I feel like curling up and going fetal in the corner. So much of it is big picture stuff (the little man’s future is in my hands, our house is falling apart, and there are unexpected job prospects on the horizon for the husband and myself), but the little things are starting to pile up and pull me down.
Like last Saturday night, when I could have used a break. I had a ticket to the Low show, but no one to watch the little man.
And I discovered I am unintentionally copying Ozzy Osbourne with my current hairstyle.
And tonight, just before his bedtime, I noticed the little man seems to have a broken tooth near the back of his mouth (a premolar?) that he hadn’t made a peep about.
And, I’m ashamed to admit, in my desperate need for escapism I’ve been turning to Go Fug Yourself. Even though I often have no clue who the celebs being skewered are, my mind boggles at their phenomenally perplexing attire.
But before long reality looms large again, and with the options of fight or flight I will eventually choose the former. Besides, as bad as things are, they could always be worse.
Bonus: Interesting Kung Fu Hustle factoids.
Plus: Reality Sandwich takes a final bow. Timmy, we hardly knew ya.

Looking For Love In All The Wrong Places

As it is so very slushy outside, I had to find another way for the little man to burn off some excess energy. This evening I took him to his favorite indoor playground. I figured the place would be nearly empty, what with it being a Monday night and Valentine’s Day. I wasn’t wrong. What I didn’t think of was that there might be more than a few single parents (as I was myself, not so long ago, and sort of still am, what with the husband’s work schedule and all) with the same idea. Which is fine, of course, but there was one lone, and lonely-looking, father who kept looking my way. Out of interest or disgust, I couldn’t say. The little man’s place in the scheme of things was much clearer. That kid is one smooth operator. Upon arrival he approached a little girl, probably about four years old, and announced “you can be the princess and I will be the prince.” She happily, whole-heartedly agreed and the two were inseparable for the duration of our stay. Though there was a third wheel, in the form of the girl’s older sister. My boy didn’t mind. The more the merrier, after all. But the older sister seemed a bit peeved. I think she wanted to be the princess.

A Little Pressure On The Understood Boundaries Of Yourself

I was thinking that I need to have an out of body experience, but I realized that wasn’t quite it. What I need is an out of brain experience. And soon.