I’m not feeling the love today. Instead I’m feeling the paranoia. The insecurity. The self-doubt. And I don’t hold up well under self-examination.

Was making my usual rounds this morning, which include a stop over at Meg’s. She’d given a shout out to the Random Excess Memory Project.
“Memory…can be tiggered by anything. A picture, a sound, a smell or a word. It’s the words that I’m interested in. From time to time a new trigger word will appear here. I would like visitors to this site to submit, in no more than twenty five words, whatever memory comes to mind from reading the trigger word.”
Check it out.

The power outage during hot and humid weather + a minor car accident + work deadlines + the sale of Vo’s all added up to a spectacularly crappy week. But I am looking forward to this weekend. To time spent with the little man. Playing outdoors in the best weather of the summer. And dining at Vo’s for multiple meals. The household chores will just have to suffer a little while longer.

He’s been threatening to do it for years, but I was trying to wish the thought out of his head. I just received word that he’s making good on his threats. It’s true. Francois is selling our beloved restaurant, Vo’s. In a few months he’s running off to California. New owners will be taking over the restaurant next week. Saturday is the last day Francois will officially run the roost. There are rumors of a big pajama party/lockdown, but nothing is confirmed yet.
Sigh.
Let me tell you a thing or two about Vo’s. It’s all about Francois.

The food is excellent, sure. But he is such a personality. And he treats his vegan customers very well. Then again, he treats all of his customers very well. It’s not just a restaurant, it’s a vibrant little community. Watching Francois in action is a wonder. He knows the names of all of his customers, including the little ones. The first time I ate there he was friendly. The second time I ate there he’d remembered my name and what I’d ordered the time before. Now that I’m a regular he knows my preferences like they were his own (tofu spring rolls w/special sauce and mock duck w/potatoes, hold the onions, add broccoli). When I was an exhausted new mother, stumbling in bleary-eyed, he would take the little man off my hands for a bit. Often giving him a tour of the restaurant so that I could eat in peace. My son has seen more of Vo’s than I have. He’s a frequent VIP visitor to the kitchen (I’ve never been in there). Francois always takes time to chat, asking about my son…keeping up on where I’m working and who I’m dating. He gives my son and I gifts and hugs. And, if we’re really good, he’ll sometimes sing karoake (he used to be a lounge singer). This is terribly terribly depressing. I had to break the bad news to a good friend. Ruined his day. He is even more of a Vo’s devotee than I am. He and his wife were married in the restaurant. I swear, that was the best wedding I’ve ever been too (ah, the fried bananas). These are sad times indeed. But I know where I’ll be eating the next couple of nights.

Why do I have to take the good with the bad? Why can’t I have the good with the good? It’s always something. Got home last night to discover that *most* of my power was out. There was an outlet and overhead light in the kitchen, an overhead light in the dining room, and one outlet in the living room that were still functioning. Everything else was out. Not a thing worked upstairs or in the basement. The flashlight was nowhere to be found, but I ventured down to the basement to flip the breakers off and on. Nothing happened. Aside from me panicking. My house is old. Built in 1906. The former owners did a little bit of rewiring, but not much. A few months back the closet lights and most of the outlets in my bedroom quit working. I still haven’t called an electrician because I know it will be expensive. Last night I called around to see if anyone had firsthand experience with a reliable one. Then I remembered a situation a few years back, when my boiler died in the dead of winter. Then I’d called a heating company to come look at it. After two days of poking around they were stumped. Turns out they hadn’t tested the gas line (should have been the first thing they checked) and it was actually the result of something the power company had done. It was a nightmare. So last night I decided to call the power company first, to see if this was their fault too. They promised to send someone to investigate my “partial out”. While I waited a certain someone came over because I was stressing out. Just a tidge. We waited. It was hot. We were all cranky. We went ahead and made dinner. A tofurky (which seems ludicrous now, considering the heat and the situation). Managed to get the fridge working by using an industrial extension cord, and the stove/oven is gas powered. It was so hot. We decided to make just instant mashed potatoes and to skip the carrots. But we still had corn. And we waited some more. I gave the little man a cool bath. Then he got sleepy. I put him to bed in his stifling hot room (it was less hot than the others though). Eventually a certain someone had to go to work. I fell asleep. Still waiting. Woke up around 11:30 to discover *all* the power had gone out and the home security system was beeping (the low power warning). Disabled the alarm and drifted off back to sleep. Woke up again at 2:30 to the sound of the fan coming back to life. All the power had come back on. With no explanation. If this was the power company’s doing they didn’t take any credit for it. No note. Nothing. I’m very confused. And tired. And I feel like I’m coming down with something. Would have called in sick to work, but it’s too danged busy. Ugh. Back at it.

As I’ve mentioned before, we’ve hit crunch time when it comes to potty-training. It’s July already and the little man is slated to attend montessori in September. But he’ll only be allowed to if he’s fully potty-trained. So I’ve been employing several strategies. I bought him three different potty books. I’ve been relocating the potty chair to whatever room he’s hanging out in. And I’ve had him run about the house bottomless, so he can fully experience the range of his natural bodily functions. Despite his genuine interest in one of the potty books (the most insipid of the lot, naturally - the one that persists in the use of words like pee-pee, wee-wee, and poo-poo) he has failed to, er, produce results. Until now. The daycare director just called. The little man peed on the potty today. A lot. And he seemed to know what he was doing. Woo-hoo! I realize I shouldn’t get my hopes up just yet, but this is certainly a morale booster.

Was scrolling through a depressing account of recent violent events that occurred in my fair city. At the bottom of it I found some unexpected good news.
Children’s Museum uses grant for exhibit
“The Minnesota Children’s Museum has received a $865,000 grant to develop with the Children’s Museum of Seattle a touring exhibit to be called ‘A Walk in Japan: Exploring Japanese Culture Through Art and Anime’.
The exhibit is to be built in St. Paul but will open in Seattle in 2004 and be in Minnesota in late 2005. It will feature anime, a type of animation rooted in Japanese culture and tradition for thousands of years.
The grant was made to the two museums by the Vermont-based Freeman Foundation, which was founded in 1992.”
So it will be some time before the exhibit opens locally. But by then Parker should be old enough to properly appreciate it.

It’s only Tuesday. But it already feels like it has been, and will continue to be, a very long week. As is often the case I turn to escapism (re-read “Good Omens” last night) in stressful times. When this isn’t feasible, I find solace in my music. Like I did this morning. Found myself hopelessly trapped in heavy traffic. But I had the K to guide me. Ok, maybe not to guide me…but to distract me at least. And new-music-Tuesdays are nearly as good as theme-Thursdays. Today I heard a dreamy single by a band called Telepopmusik. If you’re flash-phobic there are non-flash sites out there with information about them. One has video. Right then.
Headphones. Check.
New G4. Check.
Free coffee. Check.
Snacks. Check.
Back at it.

I’ve been subscribed to Douglas Rushkoff’s email list for some time now. He is the author of “Exit Strategy“, an open source novel available online. Better yet, if you purchase it, all proceeds are donated to the Free Software Foundation and the EFF. Anyhow, his latest dispatch reminded me of an impending geek conference, H2K2. Yet another that I’ll be unable to attend. It’s taking place this weekend in NYC. Sponsored by the good folks at 2600.
“H2K2 is the 2002 Hackers On Planet Earth (HOPE) conference, a gathering for hackers of all types.”
It’s bound to be a great event, overall. Rushkoff and a host of other luminaries will be speaking there. But one of the most intriguing names on the schedule has to be Aaron McGruder.
“Aaron McGruder is the writer and illustrator of the daily comic strip Boondocks which has been entertaining, educating, and outraging members of the populace for years. Some of these strips have focused on hacking and have come closer to accuracy than virtually anything else in the newspapers they appear in.”
Dang but that would be interesting. Guess I’ll have to read about it. After the fact. As usual. Sigh.

Sour patch kids should not be eaten for breakfast (if at all). I can’t say it seemed like a good idea at the time. It didn’t. But there they were. Leftover from yesterday’s (mis)adventure. I should have known better then as well. It was shaping up to be another disgustingly hot day. I didn’t feel like cooking. Decided to treat the little man, and myself, to a nice lunch at Udupi. That went well. He actually stayed seated. More or less. Until the food arrived he was busy coloring on the tablecloth and blowing kisses at me. What happened afterwards did not go as smoothly. I took him to see the Powerpuff Girls movie, mistakenly thinking it would be a good place to cool off. The little man was very excited. Too excited. We started off by purchasing the candy. Once seated he dug into it, happily bouncing up and down in his seat. Once the previews started the bouncing moved to the aisle, where he was still within my grasp. Once the movie started it was all over. He began running up and down the aisle before I could grab him. Once I did he squirmed and struggled and wailed in my arms. I let him go and instructed him to stay in our row. He did this for a minute or two. Then he slowly sidled over to the aisle. Before I knew it he was back in the aisle. Running up and down it before I could grab him. Again.
Lather.
Rinse.
Repeat.
After a few minutes I’d had enough of it. As had the rest of the audience, I think. I retrieved him. I asked him if he wanted to leave. He pointed to the rear of the theater and said “door” questioningly. I replied “yes” and he was off running. So it wasn’t difficult to get him to exit the theater itself. But then he lingered in the lobby. Having discovered some car racing video game, replete with chair and steering wheel. I allowed him to play with that for a bit, before dragging him off to the car. When I was unlocking it I realized that we’d lost Buzz Lightyear en route. When the little man realized this he became hysterical. Fortunately he was already strapped into his carseat. Started the car and pulled it around to the street. Parked illegally. Put on the flashers. Scanned the street. Spotted it. Then dodged traffic to retrieve the beloved doll. Luckily he hadn’t been run over in the mean time. Some passerby pointed at me and heckled. I ignored him. Rushed to return to the non-air-conditioned car (hotter and sweatier than I’d been all day) to reunite Buzz and a relieved little man. Then we headed home. Our misadventures over for the day.