weapons of massdistraction

I’ve been too distracted this week to post my usual bits of randomness. Jasmine is dying. We’ve known about the tumor for a couple of months now, but her condition has been steadily deteriorating. I’m at my wit’s end. Whenever I think her time might be up, I sit with her and cuddle and play and it doesn’t seem like she’s ready yet. Yesterday she was overjoyed to go outside and roll around on the sidewalk and chew on some grass. And when I gave her a plate of wet cat food, well, it was like a little slice of heaven. She gobbled it right up. Afterwards she sat on my lap for a spell, purring and looking up at me affectionately. How on earth am I supposed to know when it’s time? It’s not like when I’ve been ill and medical professions have asked me to rate my pain on a scale from one to ten. My poor cat can’t tell me that. But I wish to god she could.

Update: It’s some small comfort that, in this day and age, our vet uses email. If I’d had to have this conversation with her over the phone I would have been in tears and/or hyperventilating. Instead I was able to calmly send an email and fairly calmly read her reply.

In general, when cats start to reach the end stages of their diseases, they tend to withdraw from their normal daily activities and interactions. Cats do not often show visible signs of pain or “complain” about pain by whining or panting like dogs sometimes do. What cats tend to do is go off by themselves. They might seek out odd places to sleep or hide that are not places they normally spend time, such as under a bed or in a closet. They don’t want as much interaction with people and will often stop grooming (so the coat may look greasy or ratty), eating, showing interest in normal daily activities (such as appearing when you get home from work), or other similar changes in behavior. If Jasmine is still eating, drinking, and affectionate with you, then it sounds to me like chances are at this point she is probably not experiencing a significant amount of pain. However, trust yourself and your gut feelings. You live with her and know her best, so you are the best judge of her behavior.

So not just yet. But probably soon. Sigh.

It’s been a very good week, despite the little man’s absurd wake up calls. Not once, but twice this week he was wide awake at 4am (which means I was too). Hmmm. Anyhow, the week in review:

• Monday’s Sigur Ros show ruled.
• Thursday’s Art by Design reception was lovely. I met a toy designer (dream job, no?) and my lovely in-laws came down, along with the husband. A few of my fine co-workers showed up as well. Thanks guys!
• Remember the “two left boots” fiasco? Well, last week I shipped ‘em back to the ebay seller, in the UK. She just received them and refunded me, for the cost of the item and the cost of shipping. So that’s done with. Naturally I’ve already turned around and spent a portion of the refund…on lightning bolt wrist cuffs, a necessity in this modern age, of course. Ummm.
• This week I worked out three times and on two of those occasions I ran into friends at the gym. First, the marvelous Maggie, who is training for a triathlon (madness). And then Rachel - who gave me the good news that she has defended her dissertation and is now, technically, a doctor. Congratulations! She also gave me the heads up on Alton Brown’s baked brown rice recipe. Made it last night and it is by far the best brown rice I’ve ever had. The husband remarked that that’s not saying much, but really, it was quite tasty and I’ll be making it again.
• Yesterday I had lunch with co-worker friends on my home turf at St. Paul’s Everest. It was a good time. And when they all went back to work I went home and napped (because my sinuses are still killing me). It’s wonderful having Mondays and Fridays off - in addition to Saturdays and Sundays. Four-day weekends forever!
• The little man’s swimming lesson went particularly well yesterday. We discovered the key to really get him kicking. It involves me floating along just behind him, encouraging him to kick hard so he can splash me. It worked wonders. Guess the idea of drenching mom was just the motivation he needed.

Bonus: Tickets for The Flaming Lips show go on sale at noon today. Oh yes, they will be mine. Mouhahaha!
Plus: The good news? Asian Media Access is back at it, showcasing movies on Friday nights at the Riverview Theater. The bad news? Once again they’re being shown at midnight. Groan. Even in my pre-motherhood days I had a hard time staying awake for them. I would go, mind you, but would often doze off in my seat. Anyhow, last night they showed House of Fury, which looks pretty funny. But next week it’s Initial D, which I’ve been wanting to see, especially on the big screen. Maybe.
And: Speaking of movies…tonight’s “date night” is nearly upon us and it is looking like it will, once again, be dinner and a movie. The weather is crappy and there doesn’t seem to be much going on so I guess I can live with that. This time.

Sigur Rós helped soothe my jangled nerves. Enjoying a lovely meal with friends at Solera (next door to the venue) before the show helped a great deal as well. Later, on the drive home, I was thinking about the evening. And Chuck posted my very thoughts, about music and Spirituality, before my sleepy brain could fully articulate them:

Bands like Sigur Ros, The Polyphonic Spree and The Flaming Lips are the closest many of us disillusioned youths will come to finding God. Church and religion have way too much baggage, and have done far too much harm. Sigur Ros makes it safe to feel exaltation, to experience something like transcendence. Call it what you will… the terrain of the heart, the soul, or just — good epic music?

Music has always been my religion. From the time I was a little kid, when my Dad shared his favorites with me on our reel-to-reel player, to those Sunday night all ages shows in the 7th Street Entry. From an early age I would withdraw, opting for escapism from the unpleasant aspects of daily reality, most often by reading. But music has always offered something more. Not so private. Not entirely internal. Live music shows have given me the most satisfying and memorable communal experiences I’ve ever known.

Bonus: I forgot to mention…Paddy from Dillinger Four was selling merch for Sigur Rós. It was surreal, to say the least.

This past week a number of folks pointed out a site that really struck a nerve for me…The Saddest Thing I Own. I couldn’t get it off my mind. I’ve always been a sentimental packrat, and have hung on to too many articles that could claim that title. So of course I submitted a post last night, while listening to Low to excess (especially Point of Disgust). I would have been crying in my beer, if I were a beer-drinker. Anyhow, that submission is over here.

Today’s been a better day. Our friends (the former neighbors) came over, to accompany us to the Cinco de Mayo parade. But it wasn’t the whole family. The workaholic Jesus stayed home as he had, apparently, gutted their only bathroom down to the studs, and is busy rebuilding it.

Tomorrow we’re slated to attend another parade, as part of the Heart of the Beast’s May Day celebration. When the little man was smaller and much less mobile we used to go and spend the entire day at Powerhorn Park. This year, I’m worried he’ll even make it through the parade. Heck, I’m worried I’ll be able to get him to the parade. Maybe he’ll just stay home with the husband. They’re like peas in a pod these days (except the husband hates peas, and they’re among the few foods the little man likes).

Bonus: I’m very much looking forward to Monday. It’s been nearly five years since the last time I saw Sigur Ros live, and I didn’t think I would make it to this show either. But my marvelous co-workers have an extra ticket, for me, and we’ve got excellent seats. Yay!
Plus: Visits to Milk and Cake always end with me wanting more…stuff. But it is nearly time to have my lobes stretched again, and these charcoal wood spirals are mighty fine.
And: Happy Birthday Lorika!

Still sick, but being sick is still boring, so enjoy a random list of less boring topics.

• Tonight is the premiere of the Prairie Home Companion movie, but not in Hollywood. It’s in my own backyard…at the Fitzgerald Theater in downtown St. Paul. There’s going to be all kinds of fuss, including a parade, with the stars being pulled around in horse-drawn carriages (those poor horses).
• Came across Treehugger’s “Unexpected Green” contest. Enter by the 5th for a chance to win an Earth Shoes gift certificate.
• There is so much going on this weekend. Add to the list one more action item - Free Comic Book Day - on Saturday.
• The all-new Minneapolis Central Library is opening soon, and kicking things of with a day of festivities on May 20th. Included in the lineup is a performance by Mu Daiko. I love love love taiko drumming.
• Meghan pointed out that Minneapolis is getting its own Pillow Fight Club. I adore the idea of it, but feather pillows are recommended. What’s a vegan to do?
• I’m occasionally plagued by random consumerist lust. I really want this thermos. I could rationalize it. My only coffee maker is a french press, one that lacks the ability to keep coffee warm. But really, I just think this thermos looks cool.