Well, the husband is moving out. I love him, and he loves me. But we’re giving in to the inevitable. There was no shouting or screaming or hysterics. Nothing so dramatic. Just some quiet discussion and teary-eyed hugs. This has been a long time coming and I think we’ll be much better off as friends than spouses. It isn’t anyone’s fault that our marriage has leaned too much towards the “for worse” end of the spectrum and hasn’t seen enough of that “for better” business. Life threw us too many curveballs. And even if it hadn’t, I don’t know that we could have made it work. Our differences are just too great.

This is all going to hit the little man the hardest, and that is what hurts the most. I wanted so much to give him a stable family. I wanted him to have a strong father figure and siblings to grow up with. But that’s all fiction. It’s not the story of our lives. Thankfully the husband won’t be out of the picture entirely. He is a good, kind man and will remain a close friend…to the little man and I both.

In the mean time we have a thousand and one mundane details to take care of here. He’ll have to figure out when he’s going to move and where. And our CDs and books and DVDs are all jumbled together. And all the good kitchen gear is his. And now I need a car, again. Life is messy and difficult but we’ll get it sorted. Despite my apprehension and fear, I feel relief. Like I can finally stop holding my breath and let the freefall begin.

I’ve gotten a little behind on boing boing this week, but Maria sent me this link. It raises some interesting questions about disorders in human behavior. “Are people with autism disfunctional[sic]? Are psychopaths genetically adapted to survive by exploiting the rest of us?” But it certainly made me squirm at the thought of my sweet, brilliant son being lumped in with the psychopaths. Still, I can totally see the little man being a different kind of human. And an amazing one at that.

Remember my sad little recipe page? Today marked the first snow of the season and prompted me to make, and post the recipe for, seitan stew. It’s one of the few meals the husband and I both enjoy and it really hit the spot today.

Bonus: Halloween is right around the corner and the little man is still changing his mind about costumes every other day. His latest notion? Luigi. Even though he was Mario last year.
Plus: It’s high time for another European vacation…especially since Morrissey is touring there this winter. Hey, a girl can (day)dream.
And: Wishingfish just launched a baby shop, and now I’m bummed out that the little man never had a Rody Horse. Who am I kidding? I’m bummed that I never had one!

Interactions with the neurotypical neighbor kids have been improving. The little man is putting himself out there more. And I’m hovering less (but still watching anxiously from afar). And it seems to be going well. But I worry they’re just using him for his light sabers.

Sunday night I made it to the TV on the Radio show at First Ave. Still need to catch up on some of the lost sleep, but it was well worth it. I neglected to take any photos (we were crammed onto the main floor like sardines) but it looks and sounds like the Chicago show was quite similar (and similarly awesome).

Rumors abound about my beloved Battlestar Galactica making a move to NBC. So far these allegations are unsubstantiated, but I have mixed feelings about the possibility. Yes, it would mean a wider audience, and I’d be able to see it more easily (our household is without cable) but the likelihood of the show jumping the shark increases tenfold.

Bonus: I wish I’d been in The Daily Show’s ticket line when Terry Gilliam was visiting (via Neil Gaiman, natch).
Plus: So far I’ve missed all of the Heroic Grace series at The Walker, but this weekend it’s going to be all about The Legendary Weapons of China. Honest.
And: Odd quote of the day…earlier I found myself exclaiming “but I don’t want zombie underwear!” Though I could go for some happy octopus action. Seriously.

Let’s back it up a bit. I neglected to mention…Thursday night I spent an evening with Neil Gaiman, at the Riverview Theater. It was lovely. He read some short fictions and wonders from Fragile Things. And after the reading MirrorMask was shown. I actually hadn’t seen it yet, and I’m glad I waited. Seeing it on the big screen at the Riverview, especially during this event, was really the way to go.

Friday the little man went back to swimming lessons for the first time in over a month. He was distracted by the new equipment in the pool, but still, it went better than I’d expected (as the lessons involve being told what to do by a grown-up). Later we ate dinner at Evergreen, even though my partially dried hair made me look like a wild woman. Me hungry. Food good.

In other non-news news, my organizational skills are clearly lacking. Clearly. The other night I decided to rip some old CDs that hadn’t yet made it into my iTunes library. While on my little scavenger hunt I found many I hadn’t been looking for. Like a bunch of Nick Cave and Morphine and Cocteau Twins CDs. And Arab Strap’s The Red Thread. And some Dillinger Four and Pixies and Broken Spindles and Hot Water Music and Ink & Dagger and more. But not the two discs I’d set out for in the first place - by The Murder City Devils and Sigur Ros, respectively. So very annoying.

Speaking of music, Andrew Bird has been recording in town and is taking a little break on October 19th…to be featured in the Making Music series at The Whole. It’ll be part interview/part performance, and all good. Oh, and it’s free too.

Bonus: This year’s crop of Spooky Sock Monkeys is already sold out! I’m partial to Snock and Noctu.
Plus: We missed Museum Day this year, but I’m glad Shokufeh made it out. In a similar vein, our local library systems have been promoting the Museum Adventure Pass. Use your library card to check out a pass good for up to four people at a whole slew of museums. I plan to finally take the little man to the Mill City Museum.
And: I’m skipping the Minnesota Comic Book Association’s FallCon this weekend, as there’s already been much too much going on and I shouldn’t spend any more money. But I wonder what’s in those “Gigantic Grab Bags” - oh well.

What a day. Beautiful yes, but also draining. The little man and I started things off with blueberry pancakes, followed by a walk to the coffee shop and then on to the playground. And that was all grand but then we moved on to the tough stuff. The memorial service for Felix. There was something therapeutic about saying his name out loud. Closer to closure. Once I hit the one year mark, in January, well then I think I’ll be closer still.

The rest of the day has been more subdued. I finally got around to watching a movie Netflix sent me, oh, back in mid-August. It perfectly matched the mood I was in so I guess it was worth waiting for. Then I’d planned to take the little man to a bonfire, but he was being contrary. Turns out he’d rather dance around the house in his underpants while waiting for a batch of the husband’s cookies to come out of the oven, and then play video games. Little punk.

As for tonight, I have to figure out if my energy reserves will get me across town to the Yo La Tengo show at First Ave (or The Long Winters at the Triple Rock). Maybe I’ll just close my eyes for a little rest…and hope it’s not morning when I open them again. And if it is tomorrow, well, there’s always the TV on the Radio show.

Ok, so lately I’ve been posting all about the good stuff when, by nature, I’m something of a perky pessimist. I don’t want yawl to think I’m all high on life or something, so it’s time for five bad things:

• I couldn’t make this stuff up. Jimmy Dean Chocolate Chip Pancakes & Sausage on a Stick. When viewed larger the chocolate chips make it look seriously diseased.
• Yesterday I lightly hipchecked my desk, because I’m clutzy, and my favorite photo frame (containing little man pix, of course) fell over. It made a sickening smacking sound and was cleaved in two. It had been comprised of two heavy slabs of glass. Superglue could possibly make it whole again. We’ll see.
• My laziness is legendary and I haven’t yet gotten ’round to getting out Thank You cards…for all the swag the little man received for his birthday weeks ago.
• I also have yet to finalize the artwork for my next tattoo. The appointment seemed so far off, but now it’s in just a couple of weeks, on my 33 1/3 birthday.
• The little man’s crummy cold has been lingering for weeks now. Poor kid. And I think I’ve finally been infected as well. Sigh.

Bold: Today saw the launch of an amusing new project by my Clockwork peeps. Check out: helpryanevans.com
Plus: The lovely Zophia is going to be a dental hygienist before too long. I wonder if she’ll be allowed to wear these sterile animal print masks on the job?
And: I’d nearly forgotten about the fabulous desktops available via Pixelgirl (the reminder came from one of my flickr contacts). So many to choose from. Collect them all!

Today was another fine fall day…that felt like summer. Allegedly that’ll end tomorrow. Until then, five more good things:

• After playing phone tag with Children’s Hospital for THREE WEEKS I finally got a phone call back today. Turns out the little man’s EEG test results were normal. Phew. Maybe that’s why they weren’t in such a rush to tell me, but I was still in a hurry to find out.
• The husband ordered the Battlestar Galactica season 2.5 box set for me, even though I’ve seen all the episodes. But hey, extras!
• My old pal Steve Smillie has started a blog and it’s equal parts punk rock and…real estate. Two great tastes that go great together? Behold, Twin Cities Punk Rock Realtor.
• Too many activities happening Thursday night. I knew about Kasabian and Neil Gaiman but I’ve just discovered that Giant Robot’s co-editors, Eric Nakamura and Martin Wong, will be speaking at the Walker.
• When I was getting ready this morning the little man snuck into my room, where the husband was still sleeping, and whispered (loudly) that he was practicing…his tiptoeing skills. Only seven and already training to be a ninja. I do love that boy so.

Five good things:

• A walk to the park with the little man on a fine Fall day.
• Scaredy Squirrel, though not suitable for green Martians (via Hello).
• Mimi Smartypants, as always, but especially for her recent couch maintenance and molting post. I might not be so crazy after all, comparatively speaking.
• Air hockey. It could be just the thing to replace my beloved foosball.
• Many fantastic, supportive friends. You know who you are.