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weapons of massdistraction › Lawn Hawg
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Lawn Hawg

The ancient Toro lawn mower I inherited finally died on Friday. Leaving my grass three feet high and rising. The Toro could likely be repaired. In the three years I’ve had it I failed to get it tuned up. But it’s old and icky anyhow and I’ve wanted an electric mower for some time (less noise, less mess. maintenance free). Spent some time doing a little online research. I would love to have a cordless rechargeable mower, but those things are frigging expensive. Decided to go with a mower that was more reasonably priced. And not because of the macho name. I think it’s hilarious how they’re trying to market quiet, non-gas powered, eco-friendly mowers to your average joe. Apparently the LawnHog™ is “packed with power, performance and exclusive features”. I didn’t realize it was such an issue until I discussed it with the guys in my office. One told me of how his neighbors had mocked him for buying an electric mower, which is now sitting unused in the corner of his garage. Anyhow, I called ahead to my local hardware store to make sure it was in stock. I was told that it was, and on sale to boot. Unfortunately it had been sold by the time we arrived (a half hour later). And we had to deal with Krazy Kathy (the other store employees feared her). In the end we pre-paid for a mower that is allegedly arriving soon. Looks like it’s going to be raining all week too, so we wouldn’t be able to use it yet anyhow. But I’m afraid that by the time we do use it the hog may not be packed with quite enough power…to tear through the nature preserve that my backyard now is. I wouldn’t care quite so much…’cept that I don’t want the grass to be taller than the little man.