My anxiety can make it difficult for me to focus. For years, I’ve been wearing over the ear headphones while working. And while walking, listening to podcasts on my daily treks. My weak points are stillness and mindfulness. I’m working on it. Recently, I cut off contact with someone I care about because I find him to be exhausting. If he takes steps to take care of himself I will happily revisit this relationship. Until then, I don’t want that kind of chaos in my life. It’s draining. But I will miss his companionship. Last year we came together for “cuffing season” and it was mostly comforting and comfortable (but not without its ups and downs). This season I will be partnerless. Again. But probably for the best until I get a better handle on my anxious attachment style.
I’ve also begun using the Calm app for guided meditation, at the recommendation of my therapist. I’ve been following through daily but I’m still fidgety. I can feel the difference after one of the 10-11 minute sessions but during them I find myself yawning, sometimes nearly drooling - while trying to focus on my breath - and my mind definitely wanders. A work in progress but a worthwhile one to help manage my anxiety.
Yes, I’m trying to focus but I do love my distractions. Here are five of them:
- Neat. Building a Mystery: An Oral History of Lilith Fair - “In the mid-1990s, female musicians topped the charts and sold out shows, but were told over and over again that no one would pay to see more than one woman onstage. Sarah McLachlan set out to prove them wrong.”
- I love this idea: “Laundromat Libraries Aim To Boost Literacy In Milwaukee“
- When I heard the news about a live-action Cowboy Bebop being made I was like “heyyy! No one wants that!” But then I saw that dreamboat John Cho was cast as Spike and reconsidered. But he was injured, badly, just after production started and now everything is on hold for seven to nine months. What a rollercoaster.
- Adventure Time Returns: HBO Max Resurrects Cartoon Network Show. Our household has mixed feelings about this. My son feels the Cartoon Network series ended perfectly. He’s not wrong. We’ll see.
- Happy 100th Birthday to the Theremin! “[Léon Theremin] was just experimenting in his lab and somehow found out that you can create a sound by moving your hand in electromagnetic fields.â€
Bonus: It’s that time of year again! “5 Hours of Edgar Allan Poe Stories Read by Vincent Price & Basil Rathbone.” We love Halloween around here. I’ve posted an ode to All Hallows Eve on my photoblog and now I can’t get Werewolf Bar Mitzvah out of my head. Spooky scary.
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