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Closing the Loop

Life has been kicking me in the box this week. When I tackle one task ten more crop up. And bill collectors have been hounding me constantly, making me feel like a miserable worthless failure. I need to take Anne Lamott’s advice to heart and learn to treat myself as if I’m somebody I am fond of and wish to encourage. Because now is when shit is real. My mistakes have already happened. They are behind me and I need to put on the blinders to them. What will come is unknown and unknowable but what I do know? I need to enjoy what is right here RIGHT NOW. This is a thing I have to keep reminding myself of. Especially when everything is in limbo with our house - and in other core areas of my life. It’s too easy to beat myself up. I know we still have so much good going on. When I can I’ve got to make myself slow down to enjoy it. One night last week I made a nice dinner with my son before going outside to build a backyard fire and roast marshmallows. Most pleasant. Tuesday we beat the unbearable heat by seeing the new X-Men movie at the theater, and meeting friends for pizza afterward. Wednesday I took myself to see Welshman Gruff Rhys (of Super Furry Animals) at the Triple Rock. I feel like I’ve got to snatch up these small glittering moments and put them in my pocket for safekeeping. So I can sneak peeks at them when everything else is weighing me down.

Five good things for this Friday:

This weekend I plan to hunker down at home, taking care of business. But it is, apparently, “National Get Outdoors Day” tomorrow. Our friends’ joint birthday party is outdoors so that counts, right? Weather permitting we may also pop out to St. Paul’s StoryWalk program (around Como and Phalen lakes) on Sunday. But that’s also the opening day for Uptown Market, and the first ever “Open Streets” event in Minneapolis. But I’m keeping it simple this weekend. I swear it.

Gruff Rhys (of Super Furry Animals)

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