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Easily Startled By Sudden And Uncontrollable Standing

Some spontaneous introspection and recriminations yesterday yielded the following revelations:
01. In general, I use too much oil when frying foods.
02. I have expensive pee.
03. Sometimes it’s better not to know.
04. I’ve been busted by the husband for cutting off both ends of banana and zucchini breads. Why can’t it all be crust?
05. The moment the husband sprawls on the couch I instantly whine “aww, I was just going to sit there!” (well, I was).
06. All too often I am the viscountess of vitriol, overreacting disproportionately to the smallest of slights.
07. Eating one’s own hair, even when still attached to one’s head, is unpleasant.
08. Shower gel is not shampoo (looks over her glasses at the husband).
09. California is not an island.
10. I should give up on trying to explain comic books, er, graphic novels to the husband. He just doesn’t get it.
11. When I grow up, I wanna be just like you.