Several weeks ago we went to dinner at our favorite restaurant, where they know us well, and one of the owners looked up at me and said “ah, you’re having another baby?” Flustered and feeling a little churlish I mumbled “no, just getting fat” or something along those lines. Turns out Frank was right and I was wrong. I finally went to the doctor the other day, thinking I was dying or something. I’ve been pregnant before, obviously. But over these last few months a series of events and misadventures misled me, and caused me to be a bit disconnected from my body. First there were the home pregnancy tests. Not one, but two negative test results. Then there was the bleeding, irregular though it was, but my cycles have always been irregular. And sure, there was all that puking, but I chalked it up to the migraine meds I was taking. In hindsight, duh! The drowsiness and fatigue are a tossup. Topamax, aka, Dopamax does cause drowsiness. The hand and foot tingling, and mouth tasting like tinfoil all the time are definitely side effects of the drug (which I have since stopped taking, and the headaches seem no better but no worse so far). Bottom line, these last several months I have felt extremely unwell. So unwell that I was expecting unhappy news at my exam. I wouldn’t have been surprised if the doc had found tumors, or, at the very least fibroids. We were both more than a little surprised when we heard a heartbeat instead. This is so much better than dying. I’m creating life! Again. The rest of the day was a blur. Rushing to get an ultrasound scheduled, and lab work done. I was able to go home and fetch an equally astonished husband. We were both apprehensive before the ultrasound started. When we were actively trying to get pregnant again (with no luck) I was taking my pre-natal vitamins and prescription folic acid religiously, to prevent what happened last time. We were quite relieved, then, when I asked the ultrasound technician about the baby’s skull and she indicated that yes, it seemed fine. She also let us know just how far along I am. Twenty weeks. A little eerie, in that it’s how far along I was when we lost the last baby, and around the same time of year too. And damn, that’s halfway there. I feel like I’ve been asleep at the wheel. I should have been taking my vitamins more regularly. I could have been taking folic acid. I shouldn’t have been taking those damned migraine meds. So much to kick myself for. At least I do eat fairly well, and I don’t drink alcohol, well, ever, and I’ve drastically reduced my coffee intake over these last couple of months (another sign, duh). Now there’s so much to plan for, and think about, in even less time. VBAC or c-section? Which hospital? How’s the little man going to handle this? The poor kid had wanted a sister, but it looks like I’m bringing another boy into the world. Still, I think he’s going to be an awesome big brother.
