Skip to content

Thievery Corporation

Some punkass beeyatch in my office has been eating my peanut butter. I’d stash it in my desk, but I buy a brand that requires refrigeration. I had been keeping it in its native container, in the main fridge, along with the company-provided condiments. So folks may have thought it was communal or something. It was disappearing quickly, at any rate. So I got sneaky. Transferred it to a beatup old rubbermaid container…so it would be less appealing. I’ve already got one mouth to feed at home…I don’t need to be feeding my cow-workers as well. But they are still eating it. Not only is the supply severely depleted, today I noticed there is jelly mixed in it! Ew. They’ve stolen and contaminated my once-pristine peanut butter. I feel dirty. So this morning I wrote a nasty note on the outside of the container with permanent marker. I don’t know if it will stop anyone, but it made me feel a little better.