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If Only Tonight We Could Sleep

We made it to the weekend, which should be a relief, but my nerves are shot. Anxiety is still spiking. If I could get through just one week without some distressing health, weather or financial concerns that would be peachy. Lately I’ve crushed by the unholy trifecta. Too much bearing down on me all the time. This week I skipped kickboxing sessions because I slipped and fell - hard - on ice Monday and my back is still tweaked. The extreme weather kept me holed up at home anyhow. I experienced another Friday of banking “excitement” with Wells Fargo. Yesterday morning my automatically deposited paycheck wasn’t appearing in my account. After poking around online I found a ridiculous workaround. Transferring just $2 from savings to checking caused my paycheck to magically appear. The Friday before it was rent. It appeared to be paid out to my landlord but Saturday morning the amount was back in my account. Then Monday it was gone again. Turned out to be a problem at a data center but why wasn’t redundancy built into the systems? It’s all a little too Mr. Robot for my tastes and I’m not feeling too secure in my bank choice. I’ve made some sales on ebay as well, and had forgotten how challenging it can be to deal with buyers in a post Amazon Prime world. These are challenges I could do without. But it gave me pause when this article popped up in my feed: If You’re Often Angry Or Irritable, You May Be Depressed

Personally I’ve felt far more irritable than angry. Or at least I’m not expressing my anger. As a child growing up in a volatile household, then later as a single parent, I learned to direct that anger inward. I still have plenty to undo in therapy. It’s a work in progress. In related news, a random reddit post led me to this: What’s the Difference Between Hyperacusis and Misophonia? THANK YOU. Clearly my diagnosis of misophonia was correct. This is a handy guideline I can share with people close to me to help explain/describe it.

Caturday morning

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