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Mistress Of The Obvious

Generally I consider myself to be the queen of common sense…or at least a champion of safety awareness. But recently there have been too many instances where it just escaped me. And outright obliviousness set in. Albeit momentarily…but repeatedly. We came out of it all right (more or less), but the degree of danger and/or difficulty was increased to levels I could do without. So I’m going to take this opportunity to remind myself of a few things. Painfully obvious things…but things that need to be reiterated nonetheless.
1: Absolutely do not attempt to reset the dashboard clock whilst driving in rush hour traffic. It’s been off by just one minute for months now, according to Radio K. If I’d held out that long before the discontinuity drove me crazy, you’d think I could wait until the car was parked before fiddling with it.
2: Under no circumstances should I engage and/or encourage my step-mother in conversations regarding nutrition. Specifically veganism. She no longer suggests that the little man will be mentally retarded…but now believes he is going to become diabetic because of our lifestyle choices. Oy.
3. Do pay attention when purchasing pull-ups for the little man, especially to the size marked on the package. The ones I most recently picked up would have fit him…well over a year ago. Maybe.
4: On the rare occasions that I go out with the girls, I should remember to think ahead and dress appropriately. Under no circumstances should I wear fashion victim boots. Well, in the winter at least. I pulled through this time. Negotiating my way over and around snowbanks and glare ice. But there were too many close calls.
5: Do not trust that my alarm clock will remain set to the time of my choosing. I had a rude awakening around 1am this morning. It was slightly more rude than the time the little man woke me by attempting to stick Ultraman’s head up my left nostril. J refused to claim responsibility for this bit of heinousness (the alarm clock, not Ultraman). And when questioned the little man responded with one of his many non sequiturs, regarding a classmate. “Nathan breaks toys.” Well allrighty then. I don’t think we can pin the alarm clock tampering on Nathan. Instead of assigning blame I’ll just have to move on. And remember to check it before I set it. Yeah.
6: Do not let the little man eat french fries while he is bathing. Enough said.
7: And last but not least, I should not run red lights…because I’m too distracted singing along to Peaches. Or for any other reason.
Sound advice, I think. Now I’ll just have to follow it.