Sunday, February 15, 2009
Lately I’ve had some good times - two stellar evenings out on the town, lunch with a fun bunch of friends at The Wienery, and getting caught up on my stories (Battlestar Galactica, Burn Notice, Heroes, Life) . But it’s not all fun and games. Financial woes are getting the better of me. I’ve been feeling overwhelmed by them, but need to get over it and come up with solutions (that don’t involve auctioning off internal organs). Soon. But I find myself either in high gear or way way down low. I need to settle into a more functional operating mode…somewhere between happyfunparty times and paralyzing abject surrender. And all this stress spills over into my parenting, which I am deeply unhappy about. I need to keep it in check. Like today. Our Sunday started off badly, with me reprimanding the little man more harshly than was necessary. But I managed to salvage it with copious amounts of cuddling and board game playing. And tomorrow I’ll be taking the lad to the office with me, which he’s excited about. School is closed because of the President’s Day holiday but so is the childcare program. It’s also a postal holiday which means my checking account balance will be in the red until Tuesday, when the child support check finally shows up. Groan.
Enough of the dire. Instead of staying home to sulk this Valentine’s Day I headed out to the Turf Club. There I was surrounded by friendly faces and spent the evening with some of the people I love, socializing with friends old and new, and forgetting my troubles for a time. But this coming week there’s real work to be done.
Bonus: An excellent question posed by Bre Pettis: What do we call the friends on the internet we’ve never met in person? Over the years I’ve met and become real world friends with a handful of such people. But others I may never meet, mostly due to geography/finances. Like Daniel in Australia or Cherie in Switzerland or even Giyen in Seattle (though I am a big fan of the Pacific NW).
Plus: Oh how I adore McSweeney’s. Yesterday I caught up on their short imagined monologues.
And: Foxes jumping on a trampoline.
Friday, February 13, 2009
Sometimes it’s hard to override the hard-wiring and resist impulses, but it can be done (I just have to keep reminding myself of it). Unless you happen to be a skin job I guess. A new Battlestar Galactica episode - “No Exit” (sounds ominous!) tonight.
High Fives for this Friday the 13th:
- Some could consider this a low five, but I love The Museum of Broken Relationships: “A museum dedicated to broken hearts has been founded in Croatia. Authors of the concept Olinka ViÅ¡tica and Drazen GrubiÅ¡ić decided to set up the museum after consoling friends over their failed romances.” I think it’s brilliant.
- It’s time to party like it’s 1234567890 – ’cause it is! On this Friday, Feb 13 at exactly 3:31:30 PM (PST), Unix time (WTF is Unix time?) will equal ‘1234567890′.
- The 9th Annual Women’s Prison Book Project Pancake Breakfast, with all you can eat vegan pancakes, is tomorrow morning. I’ll be dragging the lad away from Saturday morning cartoons for this but it will be oh so worth it.
- Sweets for the sweet, Sheela’s cupcakes for V-Day. Dang, I could go for one of the vegan vanilla mint bad boys right about now.
- The new comfy chair I had delivered to my office is a little piece of heaven. Thank you Room & Board Outlet. I love you.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
It’s staring me straight in the face so I have to say something about it. Yep, Valentine’s Day is this Saturday. And just last week I broke up with a man I had fallen deeply in love with. But it had to happen. And I am coping. The last few days I’ve been listening to Devendra Banhart’s fantastic cover of Forget About Him. Kath Bloom’s lyrics nail it. It also occurred to me…my divorce was signed into effect on Valentine’s Day of last year. At least I got closure cupcakes out of that. This year I’ve got nothing but heartache. But it’ll pass. As always music helps. To that end I’ve assembled my second annual single lady V-Day mix.
And hey, I found a few of those bright spots I was looking for. Getty Images invited me to be a contributor. And one of my photos is slated to appear in next month’s National Geographic Traveler. And recently I registered sharynshoots.com, to force myself to pull together a photography portfolio. Every little bit helps.
I don’t know if “the whole crazy world is going to be brand new” like Kath wrote, but I am going to be all right.
Bonus: I don’t know how I’ve managed to go this long without ever seeing a single episode of Robot Chicken. It makes no sense. “The program is a sketch comedy that parodies a number of pop culture conventions using stop motion animation of toys, action figures, dolls, and claymation” - which is exactly my sort of thing. Tangentially related, I’m looking forward to Joss Whedon’s Dollhouse.
Plus: Speaking of things that are my sort of thing…loving Peter Bjorn & John’s video for Nothing to Worry About. And the trailer for Fanboys made me snicker. And OH MAN, kittens! Inspired by kittens! Just what I needed.
And: Real world magic - ‘Arctic unicorns‘ in icy display. NARWHAL!
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
There will be no happy Hollywood endings for me. Over the years I’ve made my peace with this. But occasionally I catch myself striving for more, only to be bitchslapped back to reality. Life is hard. Me and mine? We struggle. We toil. We do what we can to get by. Hopefully that allows us to savor the good moments, when we have them. But I’ll admit I could do with a few more bright spots.
Five eminent items:
- The real Fortress of Solitude, somewhere in Mexico. I like the idea of retreating there right about now. Though in reality I guess it’s about 150º inside and super-humid.
- While reading Not Even Wrong by Paul Collins I learned a little more about the reclusive artist/writer/autistic Henry Darger. I’ve been meaning to watch the documentary about him, In the Realms of the Unreal, and whadya know? It’s available via Netflix Instant (too bad I’m too broke to get a Roku box). Also by Paul Collins, an article entitled Is the world ready for an Asperger’s sitcom? About some wacky looking show called The Big Bang Theory featuring a couple of socially awkward physicists. Hmmm.
- Oh those complicated Catholics. Sure, I was raised Catholic, but only in the most superficial fashion. I may have found the whole thing more compelling if I’d been able to study it from a historical perspective. The way it was foisted on me instead - church going as conformity/keeping up appearances rather than holding any deeper meaning - only caused me to reject it. Though I always was intrigued by the trappings, and by hearing Latin spoken. Still, it’s no surprise there are giant gaps in my knowledge of church law and its intricacies but I’d never even heard of Plenary Indulgences until yesterday. Nor have I ever been to confession. On the other end of the spectrum, renowned atheist Richard Dawkins will be speaking in Minneapolis next month, on The Purpose of Purpose. That sounds much more like my sort of thing.
- All seventeen episodes of The Prisoner are avaible online, legitimately, via AMC’s site.
- Remember the children’s game, Candy Land? Well, there’s a Candy Land movie in the works. Ooh boy, just what we need, Gloppy on the big screen. Yes, I am skeptical of board games being made into movies. Though I guess it did work with Clue.
The little man sleeps soundly, for the most part. But when something is troubling him the old Morrow genes kick in, presenting themselves in the form of sleepwalking and sleeptalking. His most recent stressor? The trailer for the Coraline movie, of all things. I was surprised by how thoroughly it spooked him (guess he didn’t inherit his parents’ goth genes). But he’s been fixated for the last several weeks, in an attraction/repulsion sort of way. Everyone enjoys getting scared and being thrilled, to varying degrees, but my son has a lower threshold than most of his peers. I don’t think he suffers from koumpounophobia, but he seems particularly freaked out by Coraline because of the buttons-for-eyes theme. At his behest I pulled out my copy of the book and have been reading it to him chapter by chapter. All the while reassuring him that Coraline comes out of it all right in the end, with her original eyes intact.
I’ve always been claustrophobic and freaked out by razor sharp implements, but as an adult I’m more frightened by the mundane than by horror movie gimmickry. Like what Roto Rooter might find in my backed up sewer main and how much a dig will cost me (unless a blow bag really does the trick). Or by my high-functioning autistic son being picked on more often as he gets older. His psychologist reminded me that kids are going through puberty earlier and earlier these days, and with puberty comes increased bullying. Also on my mind lately…the fear that I may never fall in love again, with someone who feels the same way. And that I may give in to one of my unsuitable suitors, just to avoid being alone.
What frightens you?
Yesterday we missed out on the Art Sled Rally at Powderhorn Park but my friend Chuck shot some great video of it. My faves are the 20-sided die and the Land Cruiser sled. Our alternate Saturday plan involved swinging by Mitrebox for Cupcakes, a stop at the Room and Board Outlet for discounted goods (I now have a comfy ottoman!) and meeting up with friends at the Art Shanties. Fun, to be sure, but it was ridiculously windy. We stuck it out just long enough to see the art car parade on ice.
Bonus: Via yewknee.com, “The Video Guide To Successful Seduction - there’s some inappropriate touching at the end but let’s be honest, the whole thing is pretty creepy and weird. The Detroit guys are pure perfection.” I love the woman at the end, shimmying around in her sweater dress. Wow.
Plus: The Pink Tentacle delivers, yet again, with some amazing snow sculptures at the Sapporo Snow Festival 2009 (check out Kinnikuman!) and the mind-boggling video clips of Starfish Hitler, a Government of Darkness (G.O.D.) villain who battled superhero Kamen Rider X on TV in 1974.
And: Just came across The Skint Vegan - a blog by a family of vegans in Scotland. We are everywhere! Including my home turf. Turns out there’s a vegan cooking show based in Minneapolis but I found out about it through the Post Punk Kitchen.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Don’t be alarmed by the sudden redesign. It’s still Sharyn here. And I’m sure my OCD issues will have me tweaking the layout here and there for a while. Feel free to leave feedback/offer suggestions. New bells and whistles include Recent Comments, Recent Posts, Archives, etc. in the sidebar and RSS feeds for comments. And yeah, I may have retired my poor pugilists, but never fear, that doesn’t mean I don’t still want to punch somebody.
Last night I fell asleep early, without resorting to the melatonin. The pre-breakup anxiety kept me up at nights but now? Not so much. I’d forgotten how much depression helps me sleep. Been feeling numb mostly, throwing myself into my daily routine. But occasionally I’ll feel a slight twinge when my thoughts turn to this most recent relationship attempt. And the twinge will build to a stabbing pain. Until it feels like an outright kick to the kidneys. But I’m tough. And it’ll pass. Soon, hopefully.
Five things for Thursday:
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
There was a brief window of time, at the end of December/early January, where everything seemed to be falling into place. It was quite the triumvirate: 1) a boyfriend I adored; 2) a friend lined up as a potential roommate; and 3) a possible trip to England set for May. Now it’s all come undone. And entropy seems to be accelerating on all fronts. Particularly in my house. Thanks to poor insulation the place is hemorrhaging heat (the latest energy bill was a whopping $393). The pipes under the kitchen sink are leaking into a bucket. And now there’s water collecting in the basement. I don’t have the money to fix all of it or maybe any of it. But wait, isn’t that what duct tape is for? Yes, I will just encase my entire house - inside and out - in duct tape. And become a crazy shut-in, inside my duct-taped house. But I’ll have to add a couple dozen more cats to the mix. Purrrrrfect.
The good with the bad, just because:
Note to self: Avoid falling for law school students (and perhaps philosophy majors, in general) who are in multiple bands and can’t make time for you.
There’s a significant gap between what I really want and what I know I should do. Mostly I’d like to stop agonizing over it. At least temporarily. Which brings me to the highlight of my day. Watching an episode from The Pink Panther Classic Cartoon Collection (via Netflix on demand) with my son, while his whole body shook with laughter. Those belly laughs lifted my spirits, if only for a little bit.
The weekend was all highs and lows as weekends often are. Friday night I nearly got to see some friends’ bands play. But when leaving the house I discovered not one but both of my main headlights had gone out. I grudgingly stayed in as I didn’t think I could get away with using my hi-beams for city driving. Saturday had more shiny happy highlights. Woke up to watch BSG before some lovely friends arrived for brunch. And the cat show. And getting my headlight situation sorted (thank you Auto Zone). And United Noodles. And a pit stop at Uptown Tattoo (for one of my companions). And everfood from Evergreen. Ending with a slightly surreal evening at our other friends’ apartment. Where the boyfriend-person showed up not five minutes after I’d left. Le sigh.
Sunday was not lazy either. It was a big day, and not because of the big game. Instead Clockworkers gathered in our beautiful new building, with our friends and family members, to unpack. After I felt fairly well settled in, and plenty worn out by my child’s running around, we relocated to the YWCA. Swimming beat out Superbowl parties. I needed a good soak in the whirlpool more than football and any further socializing.
Bonus: There’s a restaurant in Saint Louis, MO called The Bleeding Deacon. Which serves vegan pineapple upside down cake. How very odd.
Plus: Muxtape seems to be back, but in a significantly diminished capacity. “…the new Muxtape, a minimalist platform for bands to promote their music and listeners to create mixes.” Speaking of music, I enjoyed this rendition of Justice’s D.A.N.C.E. created by the kids at First Amendment Arts.
And: Perhaps some kind knitter out there could maybe take pity on me and make me this hat (in those colors) because I’ll never figure out how to knit.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
I have an actual post in the works, but am currently lacking the brain capacity/free time to finish those thoughts. So a little more filler for now. But we’ll spend some quality time together. Soon. I promise.
Celebrating Chinese New Year will only encourage the boy, with his continued Chinese Zodiac/Jackie Chan Adventures fixation, but I can’t help myself. I’m not sure what to offer up to the kitchen god tonight but we will definitely be lighting up some sparklers. Outdoors this time. I don’t want to burn the house down.
Since the Year of the Ox is upon us that should make it my year. And all is mostly well, honestly. But trust me to find the right man at the wrong time. For him. I’ve gone through my own upheavals over the last few years, but have fully settled into my life. Sure, I struggle at times but I forge ahead with my son, in our home. Which I am able to maintain because of a kickass company I thank my lucky stars to be a part of. I crave and require a certain level of stability. The boyfriend? His life is in a state of flux. Everything is up in the air while he finishes law school in a shitty job market. Prospects are slim here so he will be interviewing out of state. This week. Guess Yo La Tengo was wrong. I can’t have it all. But I do feel like he is worth fighting for. What I need to do now is:
- Quit holding my breath and relax already.
- Continue doing my own thing, like I do.
- Allow myself to enjoy what time we do have together until who knows what.
Hmmm, I didn’t declare a New Year’s resolution for 2009, but it looks like I’ve just come up with a Chinese New Year’s resolution. And I’m all right with that.
Bonus: Next weekend will be a busy one. Plans are in the works for a group expedition to the Saintly City Cat Club’s annual cat show (really). I’d like to hit up the Torchlight Parade if it isn’t too cold (the Black Dog is the official warming house). Clockwork moves into our new building (yay!) and will be having an employees + family unpacking party. I’ve also been invited to a Super Bowl/housewarming party.
Plus: Whenever I’m feeling low I have to remember to watch something bleak to perk myself up. The latest Battlestar Galactica episode, A Disquiet Follows My Soul, did the trick quite nicely.
And: Pop punk also helps soothe my troubled soul and I’ve been on a Marked Men kick lately. Thoroughly enjoying their latest, Ghosts. Especially the song Ditch.
