weapons of massdistraction

Over the Memorial Day Weekend I managed to incur the husband’s wrath (generally a rare occurrence). For many months I’d let my hair grow out, unmolested, for two reasons: a) we’re pretty broke and b) so that I could do something fun with it when the time came. I decided that time was now, and booked myself an appointment at the nearest Aveda training salon. But it wasn’t that simple. When I described what I wanted to do with my hair I was asked to come in for a consultation beforehand. Which I did. I was told it should take about three hours on Saturday. I relayed this to the husband, who was incredulous. I explained that these things take time. So the big day arrived, though the husband had forgotten about it. My visit to the salon required him to stay awake for a bit, when he would have otherwise been sleeping, to watch the little man. I headed in at 10am. I didn’t depart until nearly 4:30pm. In between I read a book, was subjected to the worst in satellite radio, did some eavesdropping on several truly inane coversations, and every five minutes or so was told “it should just be another five minutes”. The problem being that my hair is too tough for Aveda’s weakass bleach. Moxie Salon might have been a better choice…though their bleach burns, it does do the trick. Eventually I made my way home, weak with hunger, and worried about how the husband would react. With one outburst and a dirty look he went into the bedroom, slammed the door, and didn’t come out for sixteen hours. Guess he really needed to catch up on his sleep.

Sunday we fared a bit better. The little man and I split our time between lazing about and errand-running. At one point the gloomy, rainy weather broke. Briefly. We headed into the backyard for a bit, but with all the rain we’ve had it was a) way too damp and b) out of control. The un-mowed yard has been taken over by insanely large weeds, wildflowers and some primordial looking plants, with leaves the size of an elephant’s ear. Instead I grabbed the guys and we raced to the nearby playground. True, it was damp there as well, but the grass had been trimmed more recently…such that I didn’t have to worry about losing my child to tangled undergrowth. We enjoyed our visit, but not a half hour into it the winds picked up and the storm clouds rolled back in, further depriving our pasty white skin of the sun’s rays.

Monday was soggy. Our planned Memorial Day BBQ became more of a gathering, with all of our guests crammed indoors. Upon seeing my hair more than one person thought I was wearing some sort of faux fur collar. Gee, thanks. It was probably best that not all of the invitees turned up, because we had barely enough seating…with adults hunkered down on little tykes chairs. But we still had a good time, serving up veggie burgers and tofurky sausages with all the fixings, baked beans, potato salad, chips and dip, and three different kinds of cookies. After gorging ourselves, a small contingency managed to stay awake for the fireworks. Alas, the little man was not among us. The husband stayed home to keep watch over him while the rest of us headed to the nearby park. We had a good view from up on the bluff, of “Minnesota’s largest fireworks display”, but it didn’t seem as impressive as last year’s. The pacing was odd, and about eight times we were tricked into thinking we were seeing the finale…only to have it peter out, and start all over again.

Tuesday felt like a Monday. I remembered to say “Rabbit, Rabbit” upon waking, tired though I was (no matter what time I go to bed I am unable to sleep past 5:59am). I could use the luck, as we have an especially busy month ahead of us. Tomorrow night the husband and I are going out…together…to The Decemberists show. David Sedaris will also be discussing his new book (which would make an excellent birthday gift - hint hint). Though that event is happening near the 400 Bar, I doubt I’ll be able to convince the husband to swing by before the show. The rest of the month will see us attending various graduation and birthday parties (one of them my own, but the day belongs to my Dad…who will be turning 60 on our shared birthday). T-Ball practice begins for the little man. And hopefully summer will begin in earnest.

I think I’m finally on the mend from this cold/flu thing. Spent as much time as possible lazing about this week. Got around to watching Adaptation…and reading Anil’s Ghost. Unfortunately I headed out on a spontaneous shopping trip last night, something I generally don’t do with the little man. But I absolutely needed a bowl of wonton soup for dinner…on the other side of town, naturally. And while we were in the area I thought I’d pick up a gift certificate for my niece’s 16th birthday. Was surprised to find something for myself too…J Otto’s Alice in Wonderland pop-up book, on ultra-clearance. Yay! But not before the little man had jumped on every piece of furniture in the store, played hide and seek in the clothing racks, fondled numerous necklaces and backed into a display of sunglasses. That little excursion wiped me out. And to top it off, I agreed to work a full eight hours at the part-time job today, to cover for a co-worker. Hopefully it won’t kick my ass too much. A better night’s sleep might have helped prepare me. But round about midnight the little man woke up crying, stumbled into my room, threw himself down on the absolute center of my bed and promptly went back to sleep. Periodically I woke up to him nudging me closer to the edge, head-butting and/or kicking me. I could have carried him back to his room but a) he’s hella heavy and b) he looks so very sweet when he’s sleeping.

1: Take child to indoor playground on rainy day. Have fun while being exposed to germs at the same time. Pay the price later, in the form of a lingering, crappy cold for both.
2: While sick drink morning coffee on an empty stomach, followed by a sudafed chaser.
3: Wear one of those ridiculous BreathRight strips on the bridge of your nose, to the amusement of your child (bonus points for neglecting to remove it before leaving the house).
4: Eat msg-laden ramen noodles for breakfast.
5: Follow that up with a big ole slice of cake.
6: While in the shower realize there isn’t a towel nearby (as your darling child has ripped the towel bars from the wall, and you’ve neglected to toss your towel onto the substitute - the radiator).
7: After showering, shake yourself off like a dog, inducing dizziness and nausea, then attempt to retrieve towel without slipping on the floor.
8: After drying one’s unruly mane reach for the styling creme and apply liberally. Panic after realizing it was not styling creme, but hand lotion.
9: In a hurry (and since you’ve neglected to do the laundry for too long) reach for an old favorite dress. Wiggle and wriggle into it. While at the bus stop realize said dress is now two sizes too small and wearing it is similar to being bound by a corset. Have panic attack that induces hyperventilation.
All right, so not all of these things happened on the same day…but they did happen. And we are sick. And cranky. You can be too, if you follow these simple steps. You can thank me later.

So, it would seem Calvin Johnson slipped into town the other day. What’s most befuddling…not only was the show off my radar, I’ve never even heard of the venue. The entire event would have passed by, unnoticed (by me), if it weren’t for my delightful Duluth peeps. I am jealous, but happy that someone got to see Mr. Johnson in action. At least I knew about last night’s Sondre Lerche show, even if I couldn’t attend. Oh well. All right, enough living in the past. The weekend is upon us and it looks like it’s going to be a quiet one, thankfully. No solid plans have been made. Will hopefully meet up with the lovely ladies for coffee at some point. There’s a photography exhibit I’d like to check out. And we still haven’t seen Robots + Us at the Science Museum. But those are both ongoing exhibits. The one concrete plan we do have is to attend an event on Sunday. Friends for a Non-Violent World is sponsoring a rally to protest the US torture of Iraqi prisoners. Here’s a little more info:

This Sunday, May 23rd, at 4:00 p.m.
The south steps of the Minnesota State Capitol

A volunteer group comprising church members, new Americans, and engaged citizens is planning a non-partisan rally to protest the torture of Iraqi prisoners. The rally provides an opportunity for all Minnesotans to express their sadness and disgust; to demand that such actions never occur again in our names; and to call for full accountability throughout the chain of command.

Speakers are:
Phil Steger, Friends for a Non Violent World
Abdi Salam Adam, Dar Al-Hijrah Cultural Center
Grant Abbott, St. Paul Council of Churches
Doug Johnson, Center for Victims of Torture
Heide Vardeman, Macalester Plymouth United Church
Rob Eller-Isaacs, Unity Unitarian Church.

Rally organizers have conducted outreach through churches, locally owned small businesses, and nonprofit organizations. Any donations collected in excess of event expenses will be donated to the Center for Victims of Torture.

That’s it. It’s over. Or just about. Buffy went out with a bang. Feels like Angel is going out with more of a whimper. The show was just hitting its stride…when we found out it would killed in its prime. But it feels like the time to raise my tiny fists, railing at the WB (for their stupidity and shallowness), has passed. Now I’m just resigned…to losing the last vestiges of the Whedonverse on television.