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Suffocation By Seaweed

As though I weren’t sufficiently embarrassed by walking around all day with a burn mark on my cheek (self-inflicted this morning while I was using the curling iron), I nearly inflicted sudden death upon my person this afternoon. Whilst eating leftovers at my desk. My co-workers took notice when I started making sounds far worse than any puking cat…as I desperately tried to dislodge a piece of seaweed from my windpipe. How did it get there? Who can say. I’ve been eating on my own for years now, usually without incident. Honestly.